I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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