he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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