And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
