weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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