All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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