oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
