Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
