i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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