and you said cock pushups were impossible
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize