I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
