doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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