I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
