some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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