well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
