And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
