:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
