i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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