I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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