I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
