The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize