just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
