their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
