just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
