Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
