I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
