I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
