i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think my moral compass just broke
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
