if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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