she looked like the bat from fern gully.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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