paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
