Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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