Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
