I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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