I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
