I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
