I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
