May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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