God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
