You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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