HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
