The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
