her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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