Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
