i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
