You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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