i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
