he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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