I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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