You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
