She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
